Surrender…. An Untapped Truth

by Jodi Sell

(Image via Shutterstock.)  

I absolutely love investigating words and discovering applications for them.  The word "surrender" has been my summer experiment and I have enjoyed the challenge of deciphering how I can put it into action in my everyday life.  Through my investigation I have uncovered a profound truth about myself and the choices I get to make every moment of the day.

My journey began in June with a focus on intentional mindfulness.  This term, mindfulness, meant that I was consciously focused on how I chose to use my energy, view my every day experiences, and what I chose to take into my body.  As June progressed and July started to approach I noticed that a shift began to occur in my thinking.  I began to experience periods of uncomfortableness…the best way to describe it would be doubt, worriedness, and lack of self-confidence.  I know everyone experiences this at some point in their day and I, for one, do NOT like those feelings or thoughts. So, I began to take note of when these feelings or thoughts would arise. I found that at times when there were many opportunities in front of me or times of quiet, these uncomfortable thoughts or feelings would ‘pop’ up.  I had become confident with my growth in mindfulness and was quite shocked that I was experiencing these ‘bouts’ of self-doubt.  In fact, I was irritated because these feelings or thoughts would throw off my rhythm or flow.  This led to the next level of investigation…a deeper search of the ‘missing piece’ of mindfulness.

What I discovered was a profound truth in the choices I make every day.  When faced with uncomfortable situations or exciting new adventures or even a common everyday task…will I choose to focus on the little details or will I choose to ‘let go’….release…surrender?  Do the little details matter?  Do the BIG pieces matter?  Do I have to know the outcome or what lies ahead?  These are all questions that I get to choose to answer or let go. 

Here is a great example:  my alarm goes off for my morning wellness and fitness routine….I hit the snooze and immediately fall back to sleep.  I miraculously wake up thirty minutes later, get myself ready and do a shorter version of my morning routine.  At some point in the middle of the day I begin to have thoughts like “you didn’t spend enough time reading” or “you should have exercised for ten more minutes.” In those moments, I get to choose to dwell on those thoughts and allow them to close in on me and begin to feel self-doubt or possibly even frustration. Or I can let them go and trust that my body was telling me I needed a few more minutes of rest. Sometimes surrendering those thoughts can be difficult.  In fact, it became increasingly difficult for me during my investigation.  I had an amazing insight one evening on how I can quickly surrender or let go and move forward.  I created a three minute or less breathing and self-talk exercise that works great for me to move quickly to surrender, I call it Connecting to My Truth or Connecting to Spirit:

1. Close your eyes and inhale deeply counting to 3
2. Exhale focusing on the release of your breath
3. Inhale deeply focusing on your intake – trust, have faith – counting to 5
• Feel your breath reaching all the way to your heart
4. Exhale slowly, breathing out your truth and faith
5. Inhale even deeper – feel the inhale reaching and encompassing your heart – counting to 5
6. Exhale slowly, breathing out your truth and feel it completely surrounding you

I found this exercise to be extremely beneficial because I can immediately connect with my truth and move instead of being stuck.  Choosing to let go of those thoughts and feelings provides a great opportunity to focus my energy where it will be most productive for me.

The untapped truth that I uncovered is simply knowing that mindfulness involves the choice to surrender. Each day I have the amazing opportunity to choose.  It’s a mindful choice…ultimately the best choice…my FREEING choice…to surrender and trust, have faith, and know that my true leader will always lead me in the direction I am to go.

Impactful Living – GLOW

by Jodi Sell

Glow-Leadership.com

What is the impact I make on the world?  This question was recently ‘tossed’ out to me and I have been pondering this profound question.  Do we truly understand the POWER we possess to positively impact the world each and every day?  I see this power as a beautiful glow consisting of all that is true, meaningful, and free.  We each possess this power and have the amazing opportunity to choose to live it every moment.

At the center of this incredible power is a truth that each of us possesses.  This truth holds our core beliefs, values and ultimately steers us daily.  The choices we make in our daily activities, in connections with others, and our future endeavors are driven by our truth.  I assimilate connecting to your truth to taking blinders off of your eyes.  One sees the world around them more clearly and has a deeper understanding of not only themselves, but of those around them.  A magnificent and an overwhelming compassion envelopes you, burns inside you in such a way that you literally shine.

When one is connected to their truth, life becomes more meaningful.  With a deeper understanding of your values and why you do what you do causes one to look at their life in a different way.  Movements, choices, actions become more intentional….there is a purpose.  One may not know or be able to see the purpose, but trusts the truth that drives them.  The phrase ‘there is a reason for everything’ immediately comes to mind, knowing and believing there is a bigger picture that you are a part of.  What a phenomenal concept….to know that you are a significant part of something larger than what you see in front of you.  This deeper understanding causes your glow to shine brighter and radiate.

There is an extraordinary freedom that encompasses you when you have connected to your truth and discovered the deeper meaning to living.  This freedom provides one the opportunity to ‘let go’ of the concept of control.  We all need certainty….certainty that all is well and everything will turn out okay.  What can we be certain of?  I know that I am certain that my truth IS MY TRUTH.  I believe, have faith, and know with all of my heart that I’m led by my truth.  Knowing this provides a freedom to live my purpose and let go of the need to control or have to know the details of the next step.  Walking in freedom provides the opportunity for your glow to ripple out to others.

What is the impact I make on the world?  I GLOW….connected to my truth, living with an understanding that there is a purpose in everything I do and that I am a significant piece of the larger picture provides a freedom to move and act without having to know all the details.  We all possess the POWER of our own GLOW.  I choose to live in my GLOW each and every day and have a passion to connect with others and provide opportunities for them to GLOW.  What is the impact you make on the world? 

The Creativity State

by Dr. Denise A. Trudeau Poskas

Whenever a blank stark white piece of paper is placed in front of me, that fundamentally is the amount of creativity that is stimulated; literally blank. No matter what genius, creative thought that might be there its inaccessible. My mind flows with waves of whiteness reciprocating the feel and look of the blank stark whiteness of the paper. At times, I will write one sentence. It seems to end abruptly at the period and then nothing.

Feeling this abruptness, I resort to changing the font hoping that might encourage movement of thought beyond that little black period. Instead, the period’s unexpectedness end only appears to grow larger until that little dot looks as large as the 11 font I am using.
    
So there I am with a blank piece of paper with one sentence, a large dot, and stark white emptiness. Any feelings of inspired creativity then begin to evolve into shear pain of looking at that one meager sentence in the middle of that stark white dessert known as a blank word document. The pain causes me to find distractions. Suddenly the tree outside becomes a point of interest, or the impulse to clean my desk grows, or I find the cover on my flash drive (it’s a wonder woman flash drive) becomes of great curiosity. It is at this point, I know I will have to have to change my strategy entirely or that blank stark whiteness will well into desperate feelings of creativity inadequacies.

As individuals, at times we actually play out this scenario metaphorically in our leadership or followership journeys.  A situation appears that is uncomfortable or a barrier which moves us to realize that we desire to address it and suddenly it is as though we “open a blank word document”. At that moment, we stare into the abyss of the situation as though it were a stark white dessert and in return our creative resourcefulness ends abruptly as the period at the end of the sentence. We may resort to trying old strategies used before and of which are as helpful as changing the font, cleaning our desk or finding an interesting tree. We may even talk to someone about the fact that the situation is intolerable and something needs to be done; yet still we are working with that blank word document.  The situation is unresolved, tension arises and days, months or more can go by without solutions.

So how do we as individuals, leaders and followers prevent this from playing out in our lives?  It really comes down to this; instead of focusing on a strategy, we need to focus on the state.

Let us go back to my initial story of how I react to the blank word document. I have come to realize that it is essential to understand that the brain has a way about it. Our brains hold our thoughts and reactions that create our state. Thus, instead of using a strategy, in this case, changing the font or giving into distractions, I realize that my brain is simply responding to a white piece of paper. Thus, my state essentially becomes that white stark dessert.

 To change my state, I surround myself with pictures, music or thoughts that inspire me. I center myself on what excites me (my passion and purpose) considering how what I write will contribute to empower others. Then, I place these ideas or pictures close to the paper, shrink the size of the paper, add color and suddenly my brain gets that I desire this… a new creative state. This new state activates the reticula activating system (place between our ears-center of our creativity) which results in creative thoughts, ideas, and things I want to share flowing out onto the wonderful creative canvas that was previously a blank white word document.

We can apply this same change of state to a situation that is a barrier or an issue.  When it becomes apparent you are faced with one; instead of focusing on fears, strategies, and barriers realize you start with changing your state. Change the “blank white word” document by writing down your purpose, values and what you desire to feel and see. Breathe it in, close your eyes, and see it. Anchor yourself in this positive, resourceful state, vision and what you desire to feel. From there ask yourself a few questions:

•         What would/is possible here?
•         What am I curious about learning?
•         How might my strengths empower others or myself in this situation?
•         What benefits are there to addressing this situation?
•         What is my next step to take to move through this situation?

Seems simple? It is in many ways. After all, we choose our state at any time in our situation. It takes practice however to choose a resourceful, energized one. We must choose to anchor on positivity and resourcefulness instead of focusing on the problem, barrier or issue. That takes practice. Yet, if you choose to stay curious, adventurous, and refrain from the blank word document metaphor, you will notice how easy it becomes.

For more information about Unleashing Your Purpose and Passion, or other coaching strategies, read more of our blogs.  Or contact us through BlueEggLeadership.com for a coaching session.

Compassion Creates Change

by Dr. Denise Trudeau Poskas

 

(Image via Shutterstock.) 

February is a great month as it reminds us that true compassion creates change. Throughout the decades of working with individuals and groups, the discussion around change ultimately leads to making SMART goals, creating goals, and a path to change. At times, then the discussion leads right to “I need to be more disciplined or I should do this”.

 

This is where we go wrong, for when we are seeing change as an external caveat we tend to use our inner critic to force the change. We become “compelled” to lose that weight, get up early to work on a project or clean that house. This creates a sense of anxiety and criticism of defeat instead of the fulfillment we were looking forward in choosing that change in the first place.

February is a beautiful month to bring forth what research is finding about authentic change, and that is compassion for ourselves and others actually creates change with ease and fulfillment.  When we explore the word compassion we find that in Greek the word for compassion, metriopatheō means “the absent or removal” of negative emotions in pursuit of fulfillment of giving.  February reminds us that love is compassion of positivity. 

Jodi Sell, an aspiring leadership coach, explains just how compassion for self invites a journey of wellness empowerment. “My wellness journey has provided the foundation, strength, & adventure to continue growing & maturing into a holistic being. I'm always humbled & amazed each week to gain a deeper understanding & love for who I am & who I continue to evolve into. As I reflect on this week I've recognized that I treat myself & recognize a deeper respect for myself as I intentionally chunk time for my well-being, fitness, & intake each day”. Compassion means letting go of that criticism we have turned inward through self-reflection.

Compassion is also about role modeling our comfort with our unique qualities without comparing or judging. As Heidi Proskocil, an ignited leader who believes wellness is necessary in leadership balance invites us to ask, “So...how is our wellness journey helping you fall in love with yourself? What have you done this past week to appreciate your gifts and respect yourself? Don't compare yourself to others- we are each on our own path and have different goals and ideas of what success means. Think positive, kind and loving things about yourself. The more we honor and respect our bodies, the more other women - our sisters, daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and friends - will learn to respect their bodies”.

As you consider the vision of change you have for yourself, remove the inner critic goals to goals of compassion.  Investigate how metriopatheō can become the cornerstone of your leadership and wellness journey.  Join a group that can offer you the opportunity to share, grow and learn about compassion in leadership at all levels.

 

Bayliss, D.A. (02/13/2015). Compassion. Retrieved from http://www.dabhand.org/Word%20Studies/Compassion.htm

Leading Teams: Motivating and Optimizing Performance

by Greg Poskas

Image courtesy of Shutterstock

In an age of growing interaction in professional and social environments focusing on efficiency and group dynamics, the ability of a leader to evaluate and maintain teams to their maximum potential is more important than ever before.  It is the responsibility of those leaders to establish the level of standards needed to successfully produce the outcomes they desire through the skills and influences of the members within those teams.  To accomplish these goals, leaders use a number of techniques with the purpose of motivating their team members and optimizing their performances.

Some of these techniques include how to assess team performance, how to coach the team to improve performance and how to share leadership responsibilities to motivate the team.  The first method incorporates a strategy using the acronym “ASSESS” to fully evaluate the team and discover ways to help the members improve.

• Ascertain performance objectives
• Share positive comments
• Share improvement comments
• Evaluate overall performance
• Seek feedback
• Set guidelines and timetables for improvement

The second method uses a “GROW” model with things to do and things not to do in order to properly coach team members.  This guides the team through challenges by allowing them to find their own answers.

• G: Establish the Goal
• Do: Agree on a single goal.
• Do not: Criticize the goal or bring a personal agenda.
• R: Check Reality
• Do: Talk openly about how things actually are, not how things should, could, or used to be.
• Do not: Criticize people or processes, or present judgments.
• O: Identify Options
• Do: Ask questions until all ideas are revealed through the contributions of all team members while discussing the pros and cons of various options.
• Do not: Use personal ideas or judge other’s ideas.
• W: Wrap up
• Do: Establish a time frame to implement solutions while making sure team members commit to these actions.
• Do not: Dictate the course of action or judge decisions that were made.

As Nickol ( 2000, p. 19) expressed when discussing the Lack of Empowerment, management team members tend to not give proper authority to other team members, even though they have been given responsibilities.  The third method focused on the motivation team members can gain by accepting responsibilities presented to them from their leaders and having the authority to proceed.  This involves concepts of participatory management in three ways:

• Delegating responsibilities
• Team members perform some of the duties of the leader.
• Allowing team members to use their skills
• Team members support the team with their abilities and learn new skills.
• Sharing or rotating leadership roles
• Team members take charge of projects, meetings, or activities.

Through the practice of these techniques, there can be a drastic improvement in the quality of teamwork you are involved in.  This can be seen at various levels as at time you may be the leader, and others you may be a team member.  These concepts are validated where Hackman (Hackman and Powell, 2004, p. 86) points out how teams can grow to a size that they no longer function efficiently, and that using teams with no more than nine members tend to have less difficulties.  Therefore, it is recommended to use the number of members in a team that actually increases efficiency by having the strengths of each member have full contribution while maintaining an overall synergy throughout the team. 

With the inclusion of the ASSESS strategy, your teams can gain fundamental evaluations to help overcome barriers that you may simply not have the ability to currently see.  By sharing the GROW model with your team leader, they will have new tools to help guide your team members in new ways to face the challenges you currently have, as well as, new challenges in the future.  As a leader, utilizing participatory management techniques can not only build up team members, but can also begin preparing them to take on more roles as leaders themselves.

If leaders contribute in a way with their teams that can motivate and optimize their team’s performances, those teams can reach higher standards of productivity, efficiency, and inspiration.  By also using these methods for evaluation, coaching, and the sharing of responsibilities, leaders can break new ground in the principles that are used as a basis of judgment for years to come.

References

Nickol, B. (2000, March). Dysfunctional teams. [Electronic version]. Executive Excellence.

17(3): 19. Retrieved from MegaFile Database.

Hackman, J.R., & Powell, S. (2004). Viewpoint: Leading teams. Team Performance Management 10(3/4): 84-88. Retrieved from ABI/Inform Complete Database.

Heart of Leadership

by Dr. Denise Trudeau Poskas

At the heart of effective leadership is skillful strategic followership.  Trying to understand how influences of both the leader and the follower impact leadership effectiveness, leader-member exchange (LMX) theory has focused on the development and effects of this relationship (Graen & Uhl-Bien, 1999).  Strategic followership is a philosophy of allowing this relationship to have flexibility in context.  By this, it means the leader realizes that the leader/follower relationship is the key to effectiveness. Strategic followership means the leader allows themselves to at times guide the follower while other times, allowing the follower to have more autonomy.
 

(Image via Shutterstock.)

Leaders lead better also when they understand active followership. By placing themselves in the role of followers when applicable a leader relinquishes the need to oversee everything and learns the value of empowering others resourcefulness.  Whether we lead or follow, we are responsible for our actions and influence” Chaleff.  Leaders that embrace strategic followership rely on communication, resourcefulness, encouragement and accountability.  They determine to what extent their followers need autonomy.  In order to practice strategic followership there are four strategies:

1. Assess what you do well
2. Know your limitations
3. Surround yourself with people who are exceptional at what you are not
4. Choose Boundaries

At the heart of leadership is understanding the importance of surrounding yourself with active, empowered followers that can move the mission forward.  This requires all to know their resources, develop skills, and work together for effective change.

Perspective Changing

by Dr. Denise Trudeau Poskas

Effective leadership revolves around the understanding of perspectives.  Everyone has them and most people like to keep their perspectives.  One of the first things I learned in graduate school in Psychology is that everyone believes their perspective is reality.  Albert Ellis said that, and it is so very helpful to remember when dealing with others.

(Image via Shutterstock.) 

I am reminded just how perspectives at time can be faulty, yet individuals still remain insistent on keeping that perspective.  Case in point; not long ago I was sitting in the airport waiting for my flight.  I am not keen on lay-overs, but they happen, so I spend that time either reading or chatting with fellow passengers. 

One particular passenger; a nice man, early thirties, career oriented, from the East Coast leaned over to strike a conversation.  When he asked where I was from and I mentioned Minnesota, he got a smile on his face and looked at me in disbelief.  “Well you do not have the accent”.   

 

“And what type of accent would that be?”  

 

“You know… ‘yah bet chah!’”  He then proceeded to run through a few phrases emulating an unique imitation of an accent that I begrudgingly realized where he got it from.  “Let me guess, you watched Fargo.”   

 

“Yes!” he exclaimed in such a manner it was as though his research of dialogue was an extension of a PhD in Linguistics.  

 

 “That stupid movie!” I thought.  “You do realize that movie was not real?  That Fargo is not even in Minnesota?  That they exaggerated most everything in the movie especially the accents?  You realize that, right?” 

I had never actually watched “Fargo” it until this year, and only because I had heard the same perspective connecting Minnesotans to that movie.  The guy sat back in true disbelief “You are kidding!  It says the story is based on true events!  I just believed that is how you guys talked”.  

“No,” I said.  “Not accurate.  And believe it or not… people cannot fit down a wood chipper,”  I said with a smile.   

He sat back again.  “Well, have you always lived in Minnesota?” he asked.  I could see he was still reluctant to give up his perspective, even though it was based on one movie made many years ago with entirely exaggerated, stereotyped information.  It created a perspective about all people in Minnesota.   

 

“No, actually, I spent half my life living in other states.”   

 

A smile came back on his face, “Oh that explains it!”   

 

“Explains what?”   

"Well you would have that accent if you lived in Minnesota all your life”.  He sat back, relaxed into his seat, feeling justified and happy he did not have to give up his perspective.  

 
So I sighed and thought, “Everyone believes their perspective is reality.”