Cynicism vs. Skepticism: It’s about Discernment – Part 3

by Zach Shelley

Now that we have discussed the different ways our communication may be misconstrued, I’ll lay out a few examples that may have been experienced in the workplace as either the communicator or the receiver.  I will also list examples of similar communications that use more beneficial and helpful vocabulary.  These examples will also show the need for clarity and specificity in our leadership based directives.

It can help people immensely to remove certain words from their vocabularies. For example, many theorists suggest that the word “should” is detrimental when used in advising statements.  This has been the subject of many studies, but for now, understand that the removal of “shoulds” from directives can aid in clarity and retention. 

I have some examples and their given alternatives to juxtapose the unintended tones that we may be communicating with the beneficial messages that will aid in cultivating better relationships.

1. “This project isn’t ready, take it back and finish it.”
• This project needs more refining; here are some suggestions that will help move the work forward.
2. “You should spend more time with the team.”
• You may find that if you spent more time with the other team members you may find it easier to communicate with them in the future.
3. “I need you to get this project done using my specific methods.”
• I would like you to use this method for completing this project because it will allow us to better study these specific benefits.

In each of these examples, we see how words can affect the tone of the delivery. 

In the first example, the use of refining calls attention to the work that has already been accomplished while still communicating the need for continued work.

In the second example, we can avoid giving advice and asserting our unsupported opinion by dropping the use of “should.”  Furthermore, by communicating the reason for the suggestion we avoid any kind of resentment founded in reasonless commands.

In the final example, we avoid the “because I told you too” application of leadership and inform associates of the reasons behind a specific set of actions.  By communicating the reasons involved in our methods not only will team members better understand the need for certain requirements, they may better understand their role and function in the team or department framework. 

We will revisit some of these examples in future weeks and take a longer look at the research surrounding cultivating vocabulary, positive affect and its benefits in both intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships.

Cynicism vs. Skepticism: It’s about Discernment – Part 2

by Zach Shelley

In the minds of many people, leadership is about power, influence or control. I would argue that true leadership is about cultivation and stewardship. In either case, leaders are very often tasked with making difficult decisions. 

Any agricultural cultivator worth their salt will tell you that there needs to be some pruning, weeding and effort that will remove unwanted factors from their specific crops growth process.  When “growing” an organization, a community, a team or a department, this kind of “pairing down” will need to happen at some point.

In these circumstances, we may find ourselves looking very deeply at situations, opportunities and choices as we attempt to derive the appropriate course of action. The most effective leaders work in and around teams.  This will mean that we will come into contact with many different opinions, ideas and options.  While navigating such environments communication is key and can set a tone for the entirety of the contract, project or department.

On Monday, we began looking at the “Cynic”. It is not a positive designation.  Recently, I had been labeled as such and took it upon myself to find out why and how to remove such labels from myself. By looking at its definitions and applications we can see how damaging it could be to a group of coworkers or team members.

In my experience, leaders may find themselves being label cynics for several reasons. Communicating realism or realistic outcomes can sometimes feel cynical. Planning for worst case scenarios can be misconstrued as cynical. The perception of decision making can be a difficult road to navigate. However, leaders must be discerning in their decisions making and neither of the previous examples were negative pursuits.

How then do leaders make tough decisions, communicate realism and develop effective contingency plans without appearing cynical or damaging the motivation of their direct community?

Firstly, I want you to think back to childhood.  How many of us can remember experiences wherein instruction was explained with a “because I said so.” I don’t believe I was ever fully satisfied with that answer and I doubt any of you were. As leaders, we can appear very cynical indeed by requiring any member of a team to do anything (or not to do something) based on just our platitudinal designations. 

If a team lead or other member approaches a leader with a new marketing plan that for some reason isn’t worth developing, a leader can immediately alienate himself by shooting the idea down and following it by a “because I said no”. This experience may quell any creativity that had been put into the marketing plan and communicate to the team member that their ideas were unacceptable as a whole. These actions are definitely in accord with the definition of cynical we examined on Monday.

By taking the time to describe the projects benefits as well as problems, a team member may find a more defined target to shoot for in the future, thus refining their work and producing a better product or offering for the team.  This is a cultivating attitude and avoids any cynical action. Although it may take a little more time, it could reap a much better end result for the project and employee.

In similar situations, imagine that a team member suggests an unrealistic solution for a problem that your department faces. It may seem obvious to others, including one’s self, that this suggestion has no possible means of working. However, a response of “that’s unrealistic. Anyone else?” may communicate a cynical attitude. The lack of time spent explaining such a statement may be construed as dismissive.  Even if the suggestion seems obviously impossible by you, the group may not know the factors informing such an understanding.  By calling out the high points of such suggestions, and communicating the unattainable pieces of the statement, it better frames the problem for the group as a whole. This in turn can develop more beneficial outcomes as well as more suitable results.

By communicating our thought process’ and situational motivations, leaders can avoid a myriad of negative social designations, like “cynic”. By using moments such as these examples are teaching or refining moments, team growth and understanding is cultivated rather than annoyed resentment.  Keep these ideas in mind as you work with socially based teams.

As promised, we will finish this post by listing several questions that can help associates see your point of view.  If you help team members arrive at the same conclusion as you have by leading them through your thought process while allowing them to see the steps you took to get there, you’ll avoid any “cynical” denouncements and help cultivate a better approach to discernment. Think about these questions the next time you are adding critiques or refinement to a project:

1. Will the implementation of this benefit the team as a whole?
2. Is this project worth the time investment?
3. Do you feel assured of the success of this project?
4. What are your main critiques of this process?
5. How long will this project take to deliver beneficial results?
6. Does the team believe in this course of action?
7. Have you researched the potential results?
8. Will this create more or less work for the team?
9. Will this benefit us long term?
10. Are there more productive options?

By helping others think through the questions that you ask yourself when discerning the pursuit of beneficial outcomes, team members will be able to have a better understanding of what is helpful for the team, company of community as a whole. More refined and well thought through conversations will always help develop successful personal and professional relationships while avoiding negative social designations.

On Friday, we will spend more time discussing vocabulary and how better to develop cultivating over critical language.

Cynicism vs. Skepticism: It’s about Discernment

by Zach Shelley

It has recently been communicated to me that I, in some circumstances, act like a cynic.  I have also been called pessimistic.  Although I initially thought that this was just so those other people could feel better about themselves, it did force to reflect on myself.  [ Enter sly grin. ]  If our perceptions filter and set our realities these assessments could mean that I am coloring my world in a very dark way.  In my defense I would assert that I am not a cynic, but a realist.  To some extent, I might also self-diagnose myself as an idealist or critically minded.  To this, I asked, “What aspects of my life have attracted such labels?”

I believe in planning for worst case scenarios, preparing plan B’s, and assuming that whatever project I am working on will be more difficult than originally expected and most likely take 10-25% longer than I initially hoped that it does.  I count on the fact that when working with a team of people, regardless of specific or preset standards, there will be some role sharing throughout the team to help everyone, including myself.  I do make assumptions based on individual actions about their motivations, but try to study every side of a given perspective before settling on an assessment. 

I would submit that these actions are discerning rather than cynical.  Planning and at times assuming for worst case scenarios is not always clouded in negativity.  The way I communicate these philosophies may be a greater part of the problem than my actual ideology.  Cynicism can often hide behind designations such as realist, careful, or mistrusting.  Those of us who are more “careful” may be projecting a very different persona than we realize.

Dictionary.com gives a fairly dark definition of cynics:

Cynic – A person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view.

Based on this definition, I want to exemplify the opposite of such a person.  If we look at the definition of cynical, we have a slightly different set of interpretations:

1. Distrusting or disparaging the motives of others; like or characteristic of a cynic.
2. Showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one's actions, especially by actions that exploit the scruples of others.
3. Bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic.

These definitions are broader in their applications, but no less dark. 

For those of us labeled cynics, what can we derive from such designations?  It is a dangerous and unflattering title to be sure.  It is something I neither want to exemplify or give any credence to.  I believe in the power of words as well as well-defined definitions and vocabulary.  Communication can be a difficult process at the best of times.  There is no need to muddy the waters further with inappropriate labels, definitions, or assumptions.

That being said, we must take a deep look into what we are communicating.  We may be projecting a façade or ideology that precipitates labels such as “cynic” rather than “preparedness” or “problem-solving.”  When “cynics” are exercising their reasoning skills to eliminate outcomes, barriers, or assess future consequences, it can sometimes be difficult to understand what they are really trying to do.  I would argue that what they are really attempting is to discern appropriate responses and eventualities. 

Discernment is not a negative activity.  It can be the founding aspect of virtuosity and wisdom.  It can allow for the making of right decisions and the avoidance of undue or unnecessary outcomes.  Discernment allows for sober-minded and informed responses to circumstances both inside and outside of us.

The challenge is to communicate discernment and earnest assessment without spreading damaging qualities.

Wednesday, we will look at specific questions we can ask ourselves, our associates, and friends to help gather the information we require while maintaining a high level of discernment and problem solving. 

References

Cynic [Def. 1]. (n.d.). In Dictionary.com, Retrieved from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cynic?s=t

Cynical [Def. 1-3]. (n.d.). In Dictionary.com, Retrieved from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cynical?s=t