Perspective Changing

by Dr. Denise Trudeau Poskas

Effective leadership revolves around the understanding of perspectives.  Everyone has them and most people like to keep their perspectives.  One of the first things I learned in graduate school in Psychology is that everyone believes their perspective is reality.  Albert Ellis said that, and it is so very helpful to remember when dealing with others.

(Image via Shutterstock.) 

I am reminded just how perspectives at time can be faulty, yet individuals still remain insistent on keeping that perspective.  Case in point; not long ago I was sitting in the airport waiting for my flight.  I am not keen on lay-overs, but they happen, so I spend that time either reading or chatting with fellow passengers. 

One particular passenger; a nice man, early thirties, career oriented, from the East Coast leaned over to strike a conversation.  When he asked where I was from and I mentioned Minnesota, he got a smile on his face and looked at me in disbelief.  “Well you do not have the accent”.   

 

“And what type of accent would that be?”  

 

“You know… ‘yah bet chah!’”  He then proceeded to run through a few phrases emulating an unique imitation of an accent that I begrudgingly realized where he got it from.  “Let me guess, you watched Fargo.”   

 

“Yes!” he exclaimed in such a manner it was as though his research of dialogue was an extension of a PhD in Linguistics.  

 

 “That stupid movie!” I thought.  “You do realize that movie was not real?  That Fargo is not even in Minnesota?  That they exaggerated most everything in the movie especially the accents?  You realize that, right?” 

I had never actually watched “Fargo” it until this year, and only because I had heard the same perspective connecting Minnesotans to that movie.  The guy sat back in true disbelief “You are kidding!  It says the story is based on true events!  I just believed that is how you guys talked”.  

“No,” I said.  “Not accurate.  And believe it or not… people cannot fit down a wood chipper,”  I said with a smile.   

He sat back again.  “Well, have you always lived in Minnesota?” he asked.  I could see he was still reluctant to give up his perspective, even though it was based on one movie made many years ago with entirely exaggerated, stereotyped information.  It created a perspective about all people in Minnesota.   

 

“No, actually, I spent half my life living in other states.”   

 

A smile came back on his face, “Oh that explains it!”   

 

“Explains what?”   

"Well you would have that accent if you lived in Minnesota all your life”.  He sat back, relaxed into his seat, feeling justified and happy he did not have to give up his perspective.  

 
So I sighed and thought, “Everyone believes their perspective is reality.”